SNORING?!?

I went to physical therapy today. Nothing abnormal, I got my legs loosened up – my quads are all knotted up – and then I was hooked up to e-stim. Jake (the PT) asked if I’d like a magazine, and I told him I’d rather just pass out, which I did. But it wasn’t a deep sleep, and I realized part way through that I was snoring! EW!!! Snoring is NOT COOL! Whenever I room with people they say I’m a silent sleeper, so I don’t know where this came from. Maybe it was the elevated legs, or the angle of my head. I don’t get it. I think the PT assistants were making fun of me. I would have.

I’ve also been spending a LOT of time at the Institute of New Medicine. The two acupunture / Chinese medicine specialists – Peter and William – have been a HUGE help to me this year. It’s meant to be preventative medicine, but I’ve been messing myself up enough lately to need some crisis aversion as well. Peter was seeing me for most of the year, but recently he was gone and William started seeing more of me. Chris Lieto describes Peter as Luke Skywalker, and William as Darth Vader. I would call Peter Yoda (he has words of wisdom for every possible question, and usually a book recommendation to go with it), but the William – Darth Vader is more or less spot on (William is offended by this comparison, but he can’t be Han Solo ‘cause Han was an idiot.). William puts needles in and asks if you can feel it. What he means is, “is there an electric shock running through your entire limb?” It’s awesome.

Acupuncture is like directed meditation without anyone directing it. I lay back (you can’t actually move once the needles are in) and focus on breathing. Next thing I know there will be some crazy abstract scene taking place in my mind. When Peter puts the needles in I feel rushes on energy flowing through my body. One day a giant rainbow with the texture of linoleum was flowing into my head and out through my legs. I could actually feel this stream of energy flowing through the room. When William sticks the needles in my individual parts feel alive. He’ll stick needles in my knees, ankles, arms, forehead, abdomen, or wherever he thinks they need to go. In my mind those parts light up like Rudolph’s nose and breath health into my body. The needles either act as exit points for negative energy or entry points for healing energy.

Both Peter and William get results, but it’s interesting for me to see how the two experts harness the force in their own ways. And they are experts – I feel awesome after each session and after a few sessions they can fix the worst of setbacks. It’s better than physical therapy, and I don’t snore when I pass out with needles in my face.

Published by Ben

Ben Collins Professional Triathlete

Join the Conversation

1 Comment

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *