All last week my parents were gone on vacation to the homeland (Missouri), which was great because I ended up with a great deal of alone time, which is something that has become increasingly rare for me.
Here are some things that made me laugh out loud to myself.
- On University Avenue last week there was a man passed out, half on the curb, half in the street. At first I was startled because I thought he was in trouble, so I went up and joined a couple other people in making sure he was breathing and in no need of emergency assistance. Then while they waited for the firemen to come, I went into Chipotle to buy a burrito. (This was the same day that a man poured gasoline over himself and burned himself to death in the center of the University of Washington campus, so people all walking around a little shell-shocked.) When I came back with my burrito a few minutes later the fire truck still hadn’t arrived, the man was still passed out (he didn’t look like a homeless man, or even a Seattle grunge-era heroin user), but now there was a crowd of silent onlookers forming a semi-circle around the man while he continued to sleep on the curb. What made me laugh out loud, was the four topless Chip & Dale’s dancers that were trying to hand out flyers to all the women in the crowd. I really wish I had my camera at this point – try to picture this scene – gloomy depressed looking people trying to see if this man is drugged, hurt, or just sleeping, hoping that it’s not another public suicide, and meanwhile four topless men with bowties are tapping their shoulders with coupons to a ladies night club. I laughed so hard I got weird looks.
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I have a new favorite sports blog. It’s Steve Stenzel’s blogspot page. If you have any doubts, look at him cheering at a Halloween 5k:
- There’s a guy that swims in the fast lane at the IMA. He wear fins and paddles and is still the slowest person in the lane. One day this girl Stephanie that sometimes joins in on workouts with me was kicking faster than he was swimming with all his equipment, at which point I declared that anyone who cannot swim as fast as a person kicked while wearing every piece of cheater gear possible, should not be in the fast lane. As we share a lane with this guy more often it has become apparent that he dislikes me more than I dislike him. So last week when I asked “When you’re kicking, would you please stay a little farther to the right?†He responded with “This is an open lane, stop F-ing harrassing me!†Then went to complain to the pool management. Now, the pool management doesn’t exactly think highly of me, but they still responded by telling the guy he was out of line and needed to be more polite or move to a different lane. Now he gives me dirty looks and gets out much sooner than he used to. This whole situation makes me laugh out loud, which doesn’t help the dirty looks.
- Last week I stopped at Taco Del Mar and bought three burritos. The lady thought I was insane because as I was describing how I wanted each burrito to be slightly different I was still sweating profusely from the hard run I had finished just moments earlier. Again, I found it hilarious, but she probably was not so amused.
- I voted, and though it was such a great experience to drop my ballot in the drop box that should document it with a cool picture. But timing it so that I was in mid-air took a lot of time, and there were a crowd of people waiting to drop off their ballots. At first I thought they were just watching me be silly, but then I realized they were not amused. Yet again, I was the only one laughing. Here are some pictures. One that looks good, and a couple failed attempts.
Check out my K-Swiss Konas. I feel so patriotic.
I’d think you were about ‘this close’ (think Guinea pig holding it’s tiny 3 fingered claws apart 2 mm) from being insane but it’s a testament that triathlons make people ‘this close’ to crazy but also happier about everything (even voting), positive and grateful to be doing just about everything.
PS
Remind Aaron to get my shoes. I’ll be there Monday.
you got a burrito with…. APPLESAUCE?!
Haha, I love your stories, Ben.