Bathroom Humor

Last weekend I got to see Courtenay – which was awesome – but the bitterness of saying goodbye to her for the next few months marked the start of an unexceptional week. I had some knee pain that started after running in the snow in Boulder over the weekend, then right as that was subsiding I came down with a nasty stomach virus (hence the relevance of a potty humor post).

Now I feel great, thanks to the awesomeness of the Sports Med and Recovery Centers here on campus! Without them this could have been a couple weeks off, but they helped me nip it in the bud.

Some random things I noticed this week that made me laugh (all bathroom related):

  • Gluten can make some people poop during workouts. Those people all like to recommend gluten free diets to anyone that has stopped to poop in the middle of a run.
  • There was a notice posted on all the bathroom doors in my dorm (two per floor, one men’s one women’s), and while I agree it’s important, I’m not sure why it wasn’t posted someplace more immediately visible to the people it pertained to: “Attention Shooters: Guns are not to be stored in dorm rooms at any time. Violation of this policy will result in immediate removal from USOC housing.” I think it also said violators would not be allowed back ever. I’m glad they don’t have this policy with bikes.
  • In my hallway bathroom there is a sign that tells me to wash my hands with warm water for 15 seconds, yet there’s no warm water in the bathroom sink.
  • I was drug tested this morning at swim practice after already emptying my bladder. I wonder what a social encounter would be like with the guy that had to stand in the handicap stall and watch me do my morning BM after I told him I can’t produce a 90ml urine sample yet. (Probably awkward, but at least they’re really nice guys).

Published by Ben

Ben Collins Professional Triathlete

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