The Story of Klepto the Crow

Who steals a gel? – A crow! That’s who! Today I was at the track for a short workout. About half way through my warmup I decide to grab my bottle for a drink ( I always set down my bottle and a gel near the start line ), but as I jog up I see a crow (I’ll refer to him as Klepto the Crow) is sitting next to my bottle, and as he flies away I can see something surprisingly like a Raspberry Clif Shot Hanging from his beak.

“Screw Warmup” I thought and started sprinting after Klepto the Crow, who had landed near the middle of the next curve, but as I came close Klepto flew into a tree above me, still holding onto my gel. I looked quickly for something to throw, and just as I found a small stone, Klepto dropped the gel. It was on the other side of the fence, but only by inches. “Great,” I thought. “The last thing I need is to scrape myself up, or fall trying to climb over an 10ft fence.” So I jogged around, which, because the track only has one entrance at the opposite corner, was a bit more than a quarter mile detour. When I finally rounded the corner to grab my gel, there was Klepto the Crow again.

How did he know what delicious nectar was inside that foil packet? How many runners have fallen victim to Klepto the Crow’s hunger?

The last thing I wanted to do was allow Klepto the Crow to pick up the packet and drop it on the other side of the fence again, so I darted toward him. Frightened by my lightning fast attack, Klepto leaped skyward, leaving the Clif Shot behind. I raised my arms to declare victory, but as I did I saw that Klepto the Crow had left behind a nearly empty gel packet. The side of which had been sliced open by what appeared to have been a dagger.

My arms slumped back to my side. I felt like Klepto the Crow had stuck the dagger in my heart. I lost. The crow got his nectar. Next time I’m bringing a Double Espresso gel shot. That should be worth seeing.

Published by Ben

Ben Collins Professional Triathlete

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  1. Wow, I guess one better watch out for Seattle crows as much as San Francisco seagulls. I once was sitting at the zoo minding my own business (ok I was 2yrs old) holding a hot dog in bun and a seagull swooped down and took the dog right out of the bun!!! I think that may have contributed to my fear of hotdogs to this day….

  2. This story is hilarious, only because I can vividly see you and Klepto challenging each other. If you want to be better prepared next time the crows attack, I make a great crow sound, I’d be happy to teach you 🙂

  3. You said your mom witnessed the whole thing. I don’t know why she doesn’t set up a table complete with cups, gels and carbo drink for you. If she really loved you – she would do this. She’d also hand up water bottles for you on the bike at the top of Jaunita.

  4. Here’s to your beating Klepto and everyone else at Worlds! You are a real inspiration. (OK, so I’m in your mom’s camp…tell that Loren to back off with his disparaging comments re: mom-support…)
    You go!

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